Dress // USED House of Vintage • Boots // UNIF • Necklace // SHOPDIXI
“The symbolism of the Scorpion is wrapped up in it’s ability to focus on it’s power, this is the Scorpions special gift. Scopions magic is the magic of “defense”. We all have to protect ourselves from threats. Many times we do not notice threats, but the scorpion was born to protect itself from invasion naturally. Scorpion Attributes and Power: If you get your power from the scorpion, such as one who is born under the zodiac sign of the Scorpio, then there are a few things to be mindful of. Even if you are lured by the scorpion, then the scorpion is the animal for you. Be mindful of its attributes and powers. If you are enticed by the scorpio, it is because you need to protect yourself. You were born with an innate power of self preservation, and you need to use this power at all times. The challenge will be to perceive your gift and more importantly, to use it.”
– The Hoodwitch
With Scorpio Season coming to an end in ways it is somewhat a relief. November is always the most hectic and overwhelming month of the year for me since everyone in my family is born this month including one of our doggos! I always find it mental how both my parents are born three days apart (Nov 9th & 12th) and how my sister and I are born a day a part by two years (mine the 22nd hers the 23rd) and of course Pom our first lil nugget is born on the 28th. This time of the year always possesses an abundance of high energy, a time for celebration but also I find it to be a month that also lends itself to being quite inquisitive, reflective and mystically powerful for me. In past year’s surrounding my birthday I usually experience some sort of identity // existential crisis if you will…no drama here right?! 
I think when I was younger I was always afraid of getting older, fearing I hadn’t accomplished all the things I wanted to do in my life amongst a spinning downhill spiral of negative self-talk but as I turn 25 tomorrow this year feel’s a lot different than any other. If anything, I feel fucking elated it’s a curious sort of bliss that I’ve been experiencing lately one I can’t properly describe. It’s all encompassing yet expansive, it’s the sort of light I’ve been speaking of all year trying to locate it and I feel as if I’ve finally been able to harness it and am still learning how to use it. It feels a lot like the sort of vibrancy everyone possesses but is a matter of really looking inwards, pulling everything a part and somehow assembling it all back together to see how it all works. The sort of light that comes with confronting all the pernicious elements of who you are and burning out the dark. The sort of light that begins with a single flame and eventually manifests into wild fire, one that can’t be put out. The sort of light that is mesmerizing and contains a certain kind of radiancy, celestial and divine.
xx
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Dress + Boots // UNIF • Socks // American Apparel
This is basically my version of Wednesday Adams! Halloween is my favourite time of the year and I thought I’d bring y’all some casual dead girl looks. Although I am a fan of more warmer weather I can’t deny that all the anticipation of October leading up to Halloween is the most thrilling, considering it’s almost an exercise gearing up for the pandemonium that is November….basically the fact that my entire family is born next month shit get’s a bit cray. If I’m honest every day for me is goddamn Halloween because I am constantly that bitch who is a tad bit overdressed and as of late I’ve been having a lot of fun experimenting with my usual makeup routine. This holiday though has always held a certain magic for me, not only do I love seeing people turn out some rad costumes whether it’s witty, more glamorous or a bit frightening but the fact that I get to celebrate my friendship with my two best friends! That’s fucking right, the MUTHAFUCKIN’ HOLY TRINITY all first hung out five years ago today! I’m the most elated to be turning out some serious sick AF looks with these bad boys mixed in with a lil debauchery.
“‘Tis now the very witching time of night,
When churchyards yawn and hell itself breathes out
Contagion to this world.”
William Shakespeare
And so my loves, I leave you with this quote.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN ALL YOU FREAXXX. I HOPE YOU ALL EAT A SHIT TON OF CANDY, SLAP SOME GLITTER ON YO FACE, FEEL FIERCE AF, STAY SAFE AND HAVE FUN!
p.s if I see any of you fuckers with your ignorant culturally appropriating costumes you bet your ass Imma call you out and slap you.
xx
Shirt // Jbiebz Purpose 2016 Tour (LOL) • Boots // Alexander Wang • Necklace // SHOPNIN3 • Sunnies // WildFox
I’m not going to lie this has been a hard one to write. After two years of having purple hair I decided to change my hair colour and for the past few months being this blue tone with turquoise hues has really been the start of a new era for me. If you’ve been following my blog for a while I speak a lot about the human condition, the strange duality and everything in between that plays a role in our lives. As much as this somewhat resembles your typical ‘style blog’ you will never find me writing about the garments on my body, although that isn’t too say that my personal aesthetic does carry an element to this platform, it is much more about the story telling for me. Looking at how we’re more than eight months into 2016 I have to say compared to this time last year where everything was far more destructive and harrowing I am doing a lot better. For the first time in a long time I feel proud of myself and that’s something I often forget to give myself credit for. When I really sit with myself and look at how monumentally fucked up everything was and felt in 2015 I’ve honestly done a complete 180. I’m no longer self-medicating and abusing a handful of vices that used to be my coping mechanisms and have extracted myself from toxic situations and people. Sure, the party is fun and you think it never ends but when you get sucked into a world thats nothing but a dangerous mixture of blurred nights, intoxication, deception and waking up with the heaviness in your heart you thought you had so innocently eradicated the night before accompanied by a delirious pounding in your head is it all really worth it? I’m definitely someone who takes things to the extreme and I often like to test my personal threshold. I thought for a while I was “invincible” purely enjoying life because I was going out all the time and made the all time excuse of ‘being young and free’ bullshit. Of course, there is a time and place to dance away the night and escape momentarily from life’s tribulations but I was more than knees deep in a noxious cycle of addiction and affliction without really being aware of it or anywhere near admitting it. For months I was in denial that I had a problem because my fucking dumb ass logic and Ego self got the best of me and assumed that I was still a perfectly functioning human being because I still (somewhat) managed to carry out daily duties like my job. I know that I’ve always suffered from depression and anxiety, something that’s accumulated and carried itself over the years as an eleven year old and into my adolescence and now into my twenties. So when parts of me were depleting and instead of asking for help, taking initiative and doing the work on myself I found solace in my vices. In the quiet, the war inside my head grew vehemently louder and stronger and my addictions were becoming out of control. I felt outnumbered by my demons but I still refused to do anything about it. It wasn’t until my partner relentlessly called me out on it and told me to get help. Although, that period of my life was absolutely sickening – quite literally and metaphorically – and a complete shitshow in the most horrendous way I count my lucky stars every day that he did that for me and that I have managed to kick my substance abuse habit to the fucking curb and never look back. It wasn’t easy and it took a whirlwind of unfortunate events to really get the light to find its way through my clouded presence but I have to say for the first time in an extremely long time without hesitation, I am happy and well.
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Shirt + Leggings – BLVCKSCALE • Shoes – UNIF • Choker – Deandri
This has to be one of my favourite locations that I’ve shot at along with the post that will follow this one. You’ll see! Cemeteries are such peculiar places that carry a certain weight to them yet hold an undeniable pulchritude. This was shot at Père Lachaise Cemetery in Paris and although there is a particular heaviness when walking through its maze it is rather romantic and incredibly captivating. You could say I’ve always been enchanted by the darker side of life, aware of the strong duality that lives in us all. My interest with the supernatural began at a young age and entering my teenage years I became fascinated with tarot cards and the occult. I’ve always been a very highly sensitive being, some would call me overly emotional but as a natural empath and unfortunately at times a sponge for others energy it can be overwhelming to feel it all in this vessel of mine. As far as I can remember, I’ve always believed in spirits and otherwordly things but it wasn’t until I entered adolescence, particularly around the ages of seventeen and eighteen that I started to notice my encounters with the dead.
Over the last couple years I’ve had many experiences with spirits and have opened my energy up to this world even though it is extremely terrifying at times. Whenever I do sense energies, they do not manifest themselves into an apparition that is visible but regardless of that for the most part, I can still identify who they are in terms of their name, gender, occupation, if they are a child, adolescence, elderly etc. The only times I’ve actually seen a spirit manifest themselves was when I was twelve visiting a historical building in Montreal, when my angels, who’re my two great grandparents and my uncle speak to me, a negative entity that lived in my boyfriend’s old flat and a not-so-friendly encounter with an entity I experienced last summer.
I know I speak about 2015 a lot, and I feel that for many, myself included was a rather arduous one that knocked us all off our natural trajectory and lead us astray only to leave bits and pieces to be recovered from the wreckage. Last summer was really traumatic and I experienced a shit ton of health problems and slipped into an extremely destructive state of depression that caused me to become so far removed from myself that I was convinced was impossible to escape. During this time there was one night where I was home alone and all of a sudden felt something else in the room with me. I can’t totally express into the words the sensation that was about to overcome me but it felt like the worst kind of fear was swallowing the room up, injecting every sort of negativity into every space and crevice and I was slowly being engulfed into the midst of it. I SHIT YOU NOT I felt this presence standing right in front of me legit trying to encompass my entire being. From my knowledge of the supernatural it almost felt I was being possessed. This entity was extremely negative and I could see it being cloaked in absolute darkness with its eyes peering right at me. I can’t even talk about this without my skin crawling but even though this was extremely fucking terrifying and I was scared shitless I just held onto myself, with some of my favourite crystals in my hand, shut my eyes and tried to visualize the best I could a radiant white light surrounding me. Many mediums, empaths, and witches speak about white light as a means of purification and protection. It is super critical when dealing with spirits as well as sending it out into the Universe from your body. When this was happening, I could feel my angels and spirit guides by my side to help me against this entity which needless to say was an absolute blessing. I probably meditated for almost an hour until I felt this awful presence leave. I can’t even begin to tell you the amount of fear that was rising in me during all of this and the feeling of having something that is not a part of you in any way try and take ahold of you. What is important to remember when dealing with more malicious spirits is that they feed off negativity and especially fear. The other side of the spectrum is always love, which is why it is so essential to come // speak from your heart space and try the best we can to project love out instead of hate, anger, frustration and fear.
After this incident about two weeks later it happened again where I felt the presence try to engulf me. This time out of panic I decided to call my dad as if I knew he would be of assistance (both my sister and my father possess the same psychic abilities as me but have chosen not to engage with the spirit world like I have). If anything you should know, my family is rather peculiar and the dialogue surrounding energy and otherwordly existence has never been dismissed but always welcomed and discussed. It is not your every day phone call when you hear, “Dad I think I’m being possessed by a spirit and I don’t know what the fuck to do.” He advised me to try and remain calm the best I can and know that I was stronger than this presence even though the entity made me think other wise. He told me to use the visualization of white light like I had previously used and to embody love because if I lean into fear it allows the entity to become stronger and worst, take over my body.
Ever since the encounter with the entity I have tried my absolute best to maintain a positive mindset and emanate loving vibes although needless to say it’s taken me a couple months to regenerate and I finally feel like the worst is over. Since the incident, I have definitely closed myself off to the spirit world because of how petrifying that experience was but have been slowly regaining confidence in my abilities. To this day I still do not exactly know what that was or who it was except that it wanted to cause harm and devour my light. From what I gather, because I was vibrating at an extremely low frequency due to my mental, emotional and physical well being during this point in my life I believe that it created holes within my aura and because of my severe negative self-talk it developed into negative thought forms that allowed themselves to manifest and latch onto my aura. Quite possibly it was a combination of the negative thought forms I had created myself and another entity outside of myself that made itself comfortable within my aura.
“Thoughtforms can be described as energetic patterns that exist within our aura, and they are created by our own thoughts. You could say that thoughtforms are the spiritual equivalent to computer programs, and sub-routines, as they will keep running the same programme until the time where an intent and focus is made (by you) to change them. Thoughtforms are created over time, and are the energetic equivalent of schemas (deeply held beliefs). If there is a very strong activating event, that happens only once; such as the trauma of a car accident, or rape, then, because of the strength of the emotions, a powerful thoughtform will be created. Or if over a number of years, an experience happens daily of being undermined in small, subtle ways, such as the dynamics that can occur in families, then again, due to the dripping tap of emotion, a large pool of energy is created for the thoughtform to grow big and strong. So then, here we have the situation of a thoughtform living happily (maybe not for you) in your aura, creating the reality of the belief that is at the core of its existence, and feeding off the energy that it co-creates with the world around.” (More information about thoughtforms here)
When you’re in an intensely despondent state of mind it makes it easy for entities to attach themselves to your aura and you become a channel that allows them to breed. Although my experience may not entirely fall under the category of possession I believe that had I not made the active change within myself to become and think more positively and protect my aura I most definitely would have. Prior to these incidents, I developed certain symptoms such as thoughts that did not belong to myself, I felt another voice speaking in my head which just sounds absolutely fucked, and I started feeling like I was constantly being watched when I was alone and started seeing shadows more frequently. In conjuction with these symptoms, I was being extremely self-destructive and running from my trauma instead of addressing it which, was the main catalyst in this whole circumstance and lowered my vibration even further.
I know I’m not an expert in any way when it comes to dealing with energies and entities but looking back at how awful and excruciating that period of my life was in comparison to now, I’ve come a long way and I believe is a real testament to my strength that I had blindly forgotten and misplaced. As a natural empath, I only ever choose to use my abilities for love and compassion and to only practice white magic. I know the whole ‘witch aesthetic’ has become a part of street style and there’s been a substantial interest in this new age lifestyle shit and I am not opposed to anyone wanting to become more knowledgeable in the field and using their powers for good but I will put my foot down on the whole ouija board obsession. Of course, the board itself is exceptionally mystifying and intriguing but there are some things in this world that are just not meant to be fucked with. EVER. I have not and will never use one because what most people don’t understand is that this isn’t just some silly board game where you can contact your loved ones or maybe have a chill spirit hang out, you are literally opening up a portal where the spirits who come through disguise themselves as loved ones or seemingly friendly ghosts. They are shapeshifters, negative entities and even worst demons that will do anything to have a taste of the real world and will manipulate you into thinking otherwise about their true identity. I cannot reiterate enough how dangerous this device is when it is -i hate to say it- disgustingly glamourized. This is some real black magic shit. Don’t be a fool because life’s a fucking trip and the world is crazy but who the fuck wants to deal with demonic beings? HELL NO. NOPE. NO THANK YOU.
Just to clarify, I haven’t had any experiences as of late with the entity since last summer and I’m proud to say I’m currently in a pretty good state of mind and actually content for once, which sounds surprising when I say that to myself because it’s probably been eons since I’ve felt at peace with myself. It is so crucial to protect your aura and practice love and compassion not just to others but especially with yourself. Take care of your heart, and tend to your thoughts, allow fear to be felt but don’t let it consume you, be kind and if something is fucking with your vibe get rid of it.
xx
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