Dress // USED House of Vintage • Boots // UNIF • Necklace // SHOPDIXI

“The symbolism of the Scorpion is wrapped up in it’s ability to focus on it’s power, this is the Scorpions special gift. Scopions magic is the magic of “defense”. We all have to protect ourselves from threats. Many times we do not notice threats, but the scorpion was born to protect itself from invasion naturally. Scorpion Attributes and Power: If you get your power from the scorpion, such as one who is born under the zodiac sign of the Scorpio, then there are a few things to be mindful of. Even if you are lured by the scorpion, then the scorpion is the animal for you. Be mindful of its attributes and powers. If you are enticed by the scorpio, it is because you need to protect yourself. You were born with an innate power of self preservation, and you need to use this power at all times. The challenge will be to perceive your gift and more importantly, to use it.”

– The Hoodwitch

With Scorpio Season coming to an end in ways it is somewhat a relief. November is always the most hectic and overwhelming month of the year for me since everyone in my family is born this month including one of our doggos! I always find it mental how both my parents are born three days apart (Nov 9th & 12th) and how my sister and I are born a day a part by two years (mine the 22nd hers the 23rd) and of course Pom our first lil nugget is born on the 28th. This time of the year always possesses an abundance of high energy, a time for celebration but also I find it to be a month that also lends itself to being quite inquisitive, reflective and mystically powerful for me. In past year’s surrounding my birthday I usually experience some sort of identity // existential crisis if you will…no drama here right?! I think when I was younger I was always afraid of getting older, fearing I hadn’t accomplished all the things I wanted to do in my life amongst a spinning downhill spiral of negative self-talk but as I turn 25 tomorrow this year feel’s a lot different than any other. If anything, I feel fucking elated it’s a curious sort of bliss that I’ve been experiencing lately one I can’t properly describe. It’s all encompassing yet expansive, it’s the sort of light I’ve been speaking of all year trying to locate it and I feel as if I’ve finally been able to harness it and am still learning how to use it. It feels a lot like the sort of vibrancy everyone possesses but is a matter of really looking inwards, pulling everything a part and somehow assembling it all back together to see how it all works. The sort of light that comes with confronting all the pernicious elements of who you are and burning out the dark. The sort of light that begins with a single flame and eventually manifests into wild fire, one that can’t be put out. The sort of light that is mesmerizing and contains a certain kind of radiancy, celestial and divine.

xx

Dress + Boots // UNIF • Socks // American Apparel

This is basically my version of Wednesday Adams! Halloween is my favourite time of the year and I thought I’d bring y’all some casual dead girl looks. Although I am a fan of more warmer weather I can’t deny that all the anticipation of October leading up to Halloween is the most thrilling, considering it’s almost an exercise gearing up for the pandemonium that is November….basically the fact that my entire family is born next month shit get’s a bit cray. If I’m honest every day for me is goddamn Halloween because I am constantly that bitch who is a tad bit overdressed and as of late I’ve been having a lot of fun experimenting with my usual makeup routine. This holiday though has always held a certain magic for me, not only do I love seeing people turn out some rad costumes whether it’s witty, more glamorous or a bit frightening but the fact that I get to celebrate my friendship with my two best friends! That’s fucking right, the MUTHAFUCKIN’ HOLY TRINITY all first hung out five years ago today! I’m the most elated to be turning out some serious sick AF looks with these bad boys mixed in with a lil debauchery.

“‘Tis now the very witching time of night,
When churchyards yawn and hell itself breathes out
Contagion to this world.”

 William Shakespeare

And so my loves, I leave you with this quote.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN ALL YOU FREAXXX. I HOPE YOU ALL EAT A SHIT  TON OF CANDY, SLAP SOME GLITTER ON YO FACE, FEEL FIERCE AF, STAY SAFE AND HAVE FUN! 

p.s if I see any of you fuckers with your ignorant culturally appropriating costumes you bet your ass Imma call you out and slap you.

xx

Shirt // Jbiebz Purpose 2016 Tour (LOL) • Boots // Alexander Wang • Necklace // SHOPNIN3 • Sunnies // WildFox

I’m not going to lie this has been a hard one to write. After two years of having purple hair I decided to change my hair colour and for the past few months being this blue tone with turquoise hues has really been the start of a new era for me. If you’ve been following my blog for a while I speak a lot about the human condition, the strange duality and everything in between that plays a role in our lives. As much as this somewhat resembles your typical ‘style blog’ you will never find me writing about the garments on my body, although that isn’t too say that my personal aesthetic does carry an element to this platform, it is much more about the story telling for me. Looking at how we’re more than eight months into 2016 I have to say compared to this time last year where everything was far more destructive and harrowing I am doing a lot better. For the first time in a long time I feel proud of myself and that’s something I often forget to give myself credit for. When I really sit with myself and look at how monumentally fucked up everything was and felt in 2015 I’ve honestly done a complete 180. I’m no longer self-medicating and abusing a handful of vices that used to be my coping mechanisms and have extracted myself from toxic situations and people. Sure, the party is fun and you think it never ends but when you get sucked into a world thats nothing but a dangerous mixture of blurred nights, intoxication, deception and waking up with the heaviness in your heart you thought you had so innocently eradicated the night before accompanied by a delirious pounding in your head is it all really worth it? I’m definitely someone who takes things to the extreme and I often like to test my personal threshold. I thought for a while I was “invincible” purely enjoying life because I was going out all the time and made the all time excuse of ‘being young and free’ bullshit. Of course, there is a time and place to dance away the night and escape momentarily from life’s tribulations but I was more than knees deep in a noxious cycle of addiction and affliction without really being aware of it or anywhere near admitting it. For months I was in denial that I had a problem because my fucking dumb ass logic and Ego self got the best of me and assumed that I was still a perfectly functioning human being because I still (somewhat) managed to carry out daily duties like my job. I know that I’ve always suffered from depression and anxiety, something that’s accumulated and carried itself over the years as an eleven year old and into my adolescence and now into my twenties. So when parts of me were depleting and instead of asking for help, taking initiative and doing the work on myself I found solace in my vices. In the quiet, the war inside my head grew vehemently louder and stronger and my addictions were becoming out of control. I felt outnumbered by my demons but I still refused to do anything about it. It wasn’t until my partner relentlessly called me out on it and told me to get help. Although, that period of my life was absolutely sickening – quite literally and metaphorically – and a complete shitshow in the most horrendous way I count my lucky stars every day that he did that for me and that I have managed to kick my substance abuse habit to the fucking curb and never look back. It wasn’t easy and it took a whirlwind of unfortunate events to really get the light to find its way through my clouded presence but I have to say for the first time in an extremely long time without hesitation, I am happy and well. 

Top – UNIF • Pentagram Harness – Teale Coco • Skirt – American Apparel • Platforms – T.U.K

I hope you all had a fabulous Valentines day and got to spend it with some good company and even if you don’t have someone, I hope you fucking went out, hung out with your friends and motherfucking treated yourself because you’re a QUEEN!

This was a super fun shoot to do and my first time collaborating with da bae. I like to think the clothes I wear are an extension of myself, and a way to experiment with different characters that all are a part of Kendahl ‘Lahbra’ Jung. I decided to take advantage of the one sunny day that happened last week and organize this shoot where I channel some ultimate bad girl vibes as in I’m-cute-but-really-I-look-like-Imma-cut-a-bitch. Do you feel me?

I can just tell that as soon as this is posted my sister will probably make a remark on how angry I look because she continually tells me that on a daily basis. I have to laugh because it’s true I do look pretty pissed the majority of time but I promise you I’m not all that evil but hey I ain’t no saint either. To be honest it’s just because my natural resting (bitch) face just so happens to look like I might murder someone all the time but also because when I’m walking in public I get mad anxiety and girl is just trying to get to A to B. So pardon my icy glares. It’s not that I don’t want to make conversation with random strangers it’s moreso just being very focused on getting to my destination and the fact I am oblivious as all hell. My sister likes to call me Satan, where the nicknames derives from my not-so-pleasant teenage years of being a fairly enraged adolescent, the whole I-hate-everyone-and-the-world-and-nobody-fucking-understands-me mentality. Typical. I suppose my nickname also applies to when I tend to get a bit reactive in situations when I really have no reason to be and my sister will promptly respond with the sassy phrase, “settle Satan.” It used to aggravate me every time she’d say that but now I find it humorous and strangely endearing because hey, at least she’s honest and calling me out on my shit. Plus, I think we all know that I may have my moments and a good portion of my being consists of radiating love rather than hate even though my face may not always make that clear. HA!

Subtle out take:

because bae caught me smiling. SEE!

xx

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Coat – Cheap Monday • Crop top – Blitz! London • Culottes – Oak + Fort • Choker – SHOPNIN3 • Shoes – UNIF • Sunnies – Wildfox Couture

These were taken when I was in London this past November on my Europe trip with my two best friends! Even though we only spent a week there, traveling with The Holy Trinity is always some sort of madness; I mean that in the best possible way. My first day there I met up with Momo and made our way to the hotel to get settled and prepare to pick up our dear friend Nigel. Before I get into details, this trip was pretty significant for all of us since it would be the first time we’d all be reunited in a year! Nigel had left us in early 2015 to travel around Asia to model and made his way to Europe. Instinctively, we took this chance to go on a Trinity trip because who wouldn’t want to be in two of of Europe’s biggest cities with your two besties?! Okay, we could legit go anywhere in the world and guaranteed we’d cause a ruckus and have a shit ton of fun. 2015 was pretty chaotic for all of us and with Nigel’s absence I felt as if it had threw us all off balance. Even though Momo and I live in the same city it’s hard to meet up with each other when you have conflicting schedules. It was a tumultuous year and not having my most primary and fundamental individuals in my life proved to be rather distressing in many ways. It was one of those situations where I knew my friend needed to go out there in the world to figure out what he wanted but most importantly I knew he needed to do this for himself. I understood that all of us individually were sorting through our own personal moments of turbulence and although we all spoke to each other frequently I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t severely affected by his absence. It is such a rare find to encounter souls you relate to on much more personal levels that extend beyond surface value. Especially ones where your energies are very intricately intertwine but powerfully connected. I hold these two incredible human beings close to me because I see them as family and it is so hard to know and find your own tribe. So you could only imagine my extreme jubilance when we made solid plans to all meet up in Europe. Definitely had all the motherfucking feels. But if I’m honest when am I not?

Moments of being in London I was absolutely ecstatic, I think it worked out perfectly how Momo and I arrived earlier the same day that way we could pick up Nigel from the train station. Of course, us being tits, we decided to hide behind a pillar to scare the shit out of our friend. I wish we had filmed us picking him up because when he arrived he couldn’t find us at first and we (stealthily) burst out of nowhere and screamed at him (because we’re assholes) and of course many hugs and laughs followed. My first day in London was pretty wild, considering I hadn’t slept the whole 9 hour flight and was getting over a cold, we did what I guess is now a bit of a tradition when we travel together…grab some liquor and find a dance floor. We went to HEAVEN, one of London’s most notorious gay clubs that had so many different dance rooms to choose from and it just so happened that that night two of RuPaul’s Drag Race recent contestants were judging a stripping competition. If you must know, I thoroughly enjoyed my first experience at HEAVEN mainly because I a strange affinity for shitty pop music and trust me when I say if you get the Trinity together + top 40 shit, with or without alcohol that only involves us being major tits in public…I mean that as we will slay on the dance floor….or maybe more accurately we will be embarrassing AF and do the stupidest dance moves and have mini dance offs while simultaneously screaming at each other the lyrics of whatever dumb ass song is playing. I’m talking major hair whipping, flailing hands, and getting low as fuck to the ground. Also, I didn’t realize it was possible to turn up to Adele because the DJ had remixed her single Hello…I MEAN REALLY NOW?! I remember when that happened Momo and I just left the dance floor we were so unimpressed. There is only so much shitty music I can tolerate.

London, even with your chilly stormy weather you were something else. It was short and sweet and the perfect amount of mayhem. Some of my favourite memories there involved:

• our first day where moments of being there Momo and I found a little farmer’s market near the train station so we bought some cheese. We like our carbs okay.

• the boys taking me to Lucky Voice for karaoke as a late birthday celebration where I lost my shit because they had every T SWIFT song and new JBIEBZ…basically they had every song imaginable and I’m pretty sure Nigel and I lost our voices by the end of it. I believe at first we actually attempted to sound decent and it just got progressively worse, messy and off key because alcohol.

• finding out the staircase in our hotel was where part of the Spice Girls ‘Wannabe’ music video was shot and having an impromptu shoot.

• exploring SoHo and taking the boys to some bougi restaurant that actually had the best dim sum and needless to say possibly one of the best meals I’ve ever had in my life.

• spontaneously getting some cute tattoos in Shoreditch and going to Dishoom for another fantastic meal even though I experienced one of the worst food babies in my entire existence.

• walking around Brick Lane and shopping because duh. and all the times we took the tube and double decker buses even though I felt like a lost child the majority of the time and on more than one occasion managed to get trapped on one side of either the entrance or the exit because my Oyster card would fuck up. Thank you Nigel for being our navigator.

• also…all the times I was woken up because Nigel was repeatedly rapping to Only by Nicki Minaj extremely loud and enthusiastically the entire trip.

If anything, my seven days in London was nothing short of amusing, hilarious, insightful, entertaining and most definitely LIT (I’m sorry Nigel.) Photo diary to follow, stay tuned lovelies!

xx

Dress // Cheongsam – gifted from the bae • Boots – Jeffrey Campbell Mulder boots

Happy Chinese New Year lovelies! Absolutely in love with my new cheongsam that was gifted to me from my boy! I hope that for those of you celebrating this holiday you get to spend it with copious amounts of love, good company and get to indulge in a shit ton of food – cue massive food baby. You know ya girl hella food coma-ed f’sure.

February feels a lot more like a fresh start compared to January where an ample amount of it was about managing and sorting through the residue of 2015. If anything it feels cathartic to finally relish in holding hands with the unexpected. According to Chinese Astrology this is a big year:

“There are two significant energetic shifts that will affect everyone this year. The first is that we’re moving into a Fire year after two Wood years. Wood is growth, enthusiasm, the innocence of youth and the pursuit of a vision. Wood qi is fresh and unformed. It has the drive to break through barriers, but it lacks wisdom and refinement, so can sometimes be unstable and reckless. Fire qi is the full expression of Wood’s vision. Fire brings forth the rose, lays the paint on the canvas, and gives voice to the song that’s been forming in the depths of your heart. Fire is intense, passionate, and calls forth our need to connect with one another. In a Fire year, no longer satisfied with the pursuit of our dreams, we now can bring things into actuality. And as we see things manifest, we want to gather with our tribe, raise a glass and celebrate. Now, what about that second energetic shift? Enter the Monkey. All manner of apple carts could be turned over in the most surprising ways. This will be a test of your ability to stay calm and unruffled in the face of relentless and unexpected challenges. But remember — on the other side of chaos is magic and transformation. Be brave and keep your sense of humor; never forget that there’s spiritual gold at the end of the tale. How you handle the coming year is largely a matter of harmonizing your own nature with this Monkey qi…”

– Mystic Mamma

I’m intrigued to see how I and everyone will harness the energy of the Fire Monkey into the year. I can definitely feel parts of it manifesting within myself and unleashing a certain fire that is mesmerizing and electrifying as the uncertainty of what is yet to reveal itself.

xx

Coat – Cheap Monday • Hat & Jeans – Topshop • Shoes – UNIF • Bag – Kara

Been thinking a lot about the new year and how it’ll unravel, been reflecting a lot on 2015 and how disorienting it is in a way that another year has flown by. 2015 was a whirlwind of sorts, I can’t even begin to tell you the countless times I myself or someone else talked me down from the ledge. How the past year I let fear paralyze me to the point where I put my health in jeopardy and found myself in the middle of nowhere, so far removed from myself. To become so enveloped by incertitude and fear is such an unnerving scenery to witness. But maybe you have to burn everything down to know where you’re coming from, assemble all the pieces from the wreckage and build yourself up again. Maybe destruction breeds a certain kind of freedom. I look at the past year and my heart is less heavy, rather it is slowly expanding. I am still terrified at times but I’ve made friends with the chaos. I think this quote sums it up perfectly:

“Some periods of our growth are so confusing that we don’t even recognize that growth is happening. We may feel hostile or angry or weepy and hysterical, or we may feel depressed. It would never occur to us, unless we stumbled on a book or a person who explained to us, that we were in fact in the process of change, of actually becoming larger, spiritually, than we were before. Whenever we grow, we tend to feel it, as a young seed must feel the weight and inertia of the earth as it seeks to break out of its shell on its way to becoming a plant. Often the feeling is anything but pleasant. But what is most unpleasant is the not knowing what is happening. Those long periods when something inside ourselves seems to be waiting, holding its breath, unsure about what the next step should be, eventually become the periods we wait for, for it is in those periods that we realize that we are being prepared for the next phase of our life and that, in all probability, a new level of the personality is about to be revealed.”

– Alice Walker

I suppose this is some sort of strange, mystifying (and slightly uncomfortable) rebirth of mine. So this is my new venture, a platform for my process and progress, my ridiculous awkward inner monologue, a dizzying yet enchanting mess of things…

Welcome to the inside of my brain.

xx